Hi Tim. Well, the Fall is certainly a great time to have a wedding in Northeast Ohio. I congratulate you on taking this big step in your life, and offer this advice on a locale: stay away from muddy areas. This may sound simple, but it's no fun for a wedding party to be trapsing around in the mud on the big day. And as appealing as it may sound, do not get married on the beach. Seagulls have been known to miterate upon unsuspecting wedding parties. With these two options out of the way, we are left with Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants. Why? Well, you are going to want black people at your wedding (trust me, if you don't now, you will) so it's good to start somewhere that they are sure to be. In Mentor that means Red Lobster or Kentucky Fried Chicken. If you're worried about them stealing your stuff because they are black, I say "shame on you" for being such a racist. Black people don't steal out of their own will, they will only do so if provoked by ingesting malt liquor or being turned down for a job. And both of these things are caused by white people, so I argue that the white man is the one doing the stealing, really. In sum, I would get married at KFC so you can smear cole slaw on your new bride's bottom and beat her with a chicken leg. Peace be with you on this special day!
posted 01/23/04 by Ralston Magnar
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