I give cash to all wedding,birthday parties,and baby showers i attend.because i have every thing i need and don't want to give an unwanted gift.it gives that person a way of getting what ever they need or want. It's a very nice idea.
How horribly rude to put a message like that on their invitations. In that case I would buy them a Chia Pet. Well, I'd like to anyway, but that would be just as rude. Seriously, you are under no obligation to give in to rude demands from the presumptous bride and groom. You may buy them a nice gift to your liking, or you may give them money. It's all up to YOU.
Linda, I llike the way your mind works. You should buy them a chia pet. Or you could just put a dollar into your envelope. People who have such rude manners need to be taught how unacceptable and rude this really is. If everyone listened to them and put a lot of money into an envelope, then they're not going to learn anything. I would even have second thoughts about attending the wedding at all. How rude! I still can't believe that some people really think it's acceptable to do this.
If I received an invitation with that printed on it I'd file it immediately into the garbage and not attend the wedding. I'd have a rather difficult time even acknowledging their marriage. However, since I refuse to allow myself to look rude, I would graciously decline the invite and send a gift I chose.
What has happened to some people in our society? The very idea of asking for money/gifts in an invitation is incomprehendable to me.
Sounds like a greedy couple who have no manners. To even mention that on a invite makes me sick, whatever happened to just being there was good enough!!!!
WELL....I truly find NOTHING wrong with this....i think this is more considerate than anything....Me and my fiance have been together 10 years, and we have EVERYTHING we need...and instead of getting a bunch of useless gifts that will go into a garage sale...i see nothing wrong with asking for monetary gifts......After all it is a bride and grooms day, and they should get what they want for gifts....get a bloody grip you guys.....
Sorry, nothing considerate about that. You could say, "No gifts please, as we already have everything," if you were inclined to be considerate. This is just asking your guests to finance your wedding.
I personally always give checks/cards for all weddings I attend. At my Wedding I'm going to tell you we received money from 90% of our guests (without prompting). The other 10% brought us beautiful gifts.
I agree if I received a rude request for MONEY only.....I would buy a gift! It is just not right, to expect your guests to pay to attend. If you cannot afford your wedding, scale back and have one you can!
All of you people who disagree with giving money for a wedding present need a reality check. We are no longer living in the 1950 where it would have been considered tackie. Now a'days many people live together before they get married and most likely have already accumilated everything they need for there home. Having said that would you show up to a wedding with out a present if your such a stickler for tradition, I mean your going to get a gift for them any ways why not give them money (gift do cost money) to where they can actually put it towards somehting they really need or want. I mean if you would not show up to a wedding just because they requested money for there present than you really must not care much for them and should stay home where you belong rather than out in public.
[[[[[All of you people who disagree with giving money for a wedding present need a reality check]]]]]
Jenelle, nobody disagrees with giving money for a wedding present. In fact, I've given many monetary gifts to wedding couples. The people who need "reality checks", as you call them, are the people who think it's acceptable to:
1) make any mention of gifts in the invitation.
2) dictate to guests what gifts will or will not be appreciated.
Linda,
In response to your comment that you made regarding my thoughts, if you think it is so rude to mention what you want for a wedding present in your wedding invatations than I wonder why they thought up this thing called GIFT REGISTRY they even have these little cards to put inside the invatations to let everyone know where to go and purchase your present. Humm weird, but you probably think that is rude as well being that it is of mention to what you want and its in your invatation. All that I am saying is that not everyone needs things something for there home like they used to and asking for money to put it towards something the couple could really use is not tackie, impolite, nor is it uncommon. Money makes the world go around now a days and without it your in bad shape.
Actually, you aren't supposed to mention where you are registered for wedding gifts in your wedding invitation either!!! THE WEDDING IS NOT ABOUT GETTING PRESENTS!! ITS ABOUT A MARRIAGE!! HELLO!!!
Another thing MISSY how would anyone know where the couple registered if there was no mention of the store the couple registered at, you do relize people register for gifts right? Come on what do people need to go searching for the store or what. I do agree that the wedding is not about the gifts but it is tradition and common knowledge as well.
I have NOT included registry information in my wedding invites. I would never, ever do that. I only tell people where I registered IF THEY ASK. If they do not ask, and buy some gift that is not from my registry, that is fine with me.
Sweetie look around its ok to register some where and include it in your invitation, its normal. Thats not what this is about, not everyone agrees that the mention of money should be put in your invitation or even asked for. You must be much older because it is very, very, very common to put where you are registered in your invitation, bridal shower, baby shower, etc... Giving gifts is tradition no matter how you look at it, and if you don't agree with that than you don't, not my problem but everyone is entittled to there onpions and thats why this message board is here.
The reason that there are cards available that say "We're registered here" is because the businesses that offer bridal registries WANT THE BUSINESS. The cards that they give you when you register should not be placed in shower invitations, wedding invitations, handed out in bars... You get my point.
Having good manners does not mean that someone is "old" - although I'm not sure how we're defining old at this point. I'm assuming that people who have been dating for 10 years and/or on their second or third marriages are going to be at least 30 or so.... Still not old in my book, but definitely "old enough to know better."
Anyone who has a question about the etiquette of wording invitations, asking for gifts, or any other circumstance related to a wedding should check out a book from the library and read up on what is acceptable. And please note: these books are not "old" either - I checked out two recently with copyright dates of 2001 and 2003.
Just because "everyone" is doing something does not mean it is the right thing to do. And really, if you are questioning yourself about whether or not it's okay to do something, chances are, it's not.
What it comes down to is this - brides and grooms need to follow a few simple etiquette guidelines. Within those guidelines they should still be able to have the weddings they always wanted, while managing not to be rude to their prospective guests.
Last Word - If you really want cash, return any unwanted gifts you receive and get the $. That is acceptable.
Jenelle, putting registry information into a wedding invitation (and yes, invitation is spelled with an i not and a) is rude and presumptous. A wedding invitation is used solely for the purpose of inviting guests to your wedding; gifts and money should never be mentioned. Furthermore, a registry is simply a guide for guests to use, should they choose this route, in order to determine what sort of gift they choose (that's the key word here!) to give you. A bride and groom should not try to dictate what is given to them as a gift for their wedding.
With the use of the interent a person can check all the major department stores in a matter of seconds to determine who is registered where, if at all. So obviously finding out where someone is registered is not an issue.
Your posts show your obvious lack of etiquette, manners, grace, spelling, and grammar knowledge.
Remember, proper etiquette never goes out of style or becomes outdated.
Jenelle, You are 100% wrong. It is NEVER acceptable to put any info about gifts in any invitation. I have never seen anybody include registry cards in an invite and NEVER seen anyone tell people in an invite monetary gifts only. There's a reason for this: it's rude. It's presumptious. It lacks class. People don't do this because most people know better. Unfortunatly, there are the few out there that don't care about what their guests feel and think that it's acceptable to dictate to them what they should bring. BTW, a guest is defined in the dic as someone to whom hospitality is extended. So, if this is true, then how come the hospitality people like you extend has to do with emptying their cheque books? Furthermore, a gift should NEVER be expected, but accepted gratefully should your "guests" CHOOSE to bring a gift (monetary or otherwise). You state that it's acceptable to do this, then how come on these message boards, people like you are so vastly outnumbered? Ettiquette is defined by society by what is and what is not acceptable behaviour. Obviously society believes it is not (as stated by so many above posters). Good manners and grace never go out of style, so until you can learn how to extend those to the "guests" at your wedding, I would suggest not even having one.
