My mother and MOH live 4 hours away where I grew up. They are throwing me a wedding shower in a few weeks. My new mother-in-law lives 5 minutes from us (and 4 hours from my mother where the wedding shower will be). She said she couldn’t go to my shower, which I understand.
I asked her if I should invite my fiance's family to the shower because I don’t want anyone to feel left out, but I don’t really expect them to drive that far and I don’t want them to feel obligated to send a gift. My mother-in-law told me not to invite my fiance's family and not to tell them about the shower so they won't feel left out. She’s is not planning a second shower for me.
I thought that usually when the families live this far apart; the bride would have two showers. When my brother got married, his fiancés family lived 3 hours from us so we threw her a shower at my mom’s so she could meet all the women in our family and feel welcome. I like my mother-in-law and I don't want to be mad at her, but I feel really hurt. I actually get along very well with my fiance's family. I do realize that she's not under any obligation to throw me a shower here (especially since family is not really supposed to throw wedding shower's), but it would be an awfully nice gesture.
Should I go ahead and have my MOH invite my fiance's family, even though I don't expect them to go and my MIL said not too? If I don’t invite them, some of them will eventually find out about the shower and may feel hurt.
If your MIL indicated that you shouldn't invite them, then I wouldn't. Perhaps your fiance's side of the family is indeed planning a shower for you (a surprise one perhaps). I can understand why you feel hurt, I think many of us have been in similar situations.
