For my brother-in-law Steve's bachelor party, we took him on a road trip he won't soon forget. A group of guys and I told him to plan on a 2 day party, starting Saturday morning and ending Sunday night, but we didn't give him any details. When we showed up at his door with a rented mini-bus, he knew he was in for a ride.
There were ten of us on board with me as designated driver. When Steve sat down he was handed a drink and the guys cheered him on while he downed his first of many cocktails. Never mind that it was 10 in the morning. We had a lot of partying to do. Steve wanted to know where we were heading and I yelled back, to the desert. We had reservations at a swanky hotel and spa but the real reason we were headed out of town was for the Indian casinos we could gamble in.
We wanted Steve to have an enjoyable ride, so we also supplied him with a few dirty magazines for reading, a lovely female blow up doll for sitting next to, and a book of x-rated crossword puzzles to keep his mind stimulated. We included a pen that had a woman on it whose clothes fell down when you flipped it.
The drive was about 3 hours. Along the way, we kept Steve well hydrated and stopped at a restaurant for breakfast. We wanted to be sure Steve was well fed too, in order to absorb all the beverages. As we were leaving the restaurant and loading into the bus, a very attractive woman climbed on board. I closed the vehicle doors and we started on our way. Our first surprise for Steve was put into motion – the woman sauntered down the bus aisle, bent over, leaving little guess of her cup size, whispered hello into Steve's ear and then backed up slightly and began a slow and meticulous striptease. I turned the volume up on the radio, playing a CD that had been previously arranged, and all the guys whooped and hollered as the show progressed. I kept my eyes on the road but glanced into the rearview mirror quite often. The stripper was classy and did a very seductive dance without ever touching Steve. Her close proximity was enough to get him hot and bothered (heck, I was way up in front and I felt the heat).
I pulled off the freeway and dropped the young lady off at a gas station (she had prearranged to be picked up there), where an equally tantalizing woman greeted her. The things that went through the guys minds at that moment I can't repeat, and we definitely needed a drink (except me of course).
We arrived at our hotel about an hour later and checked into a suite. By this time Steve was a little toasted, as was a couple of the other guys, so we decided to head to the pool for a little rest and relaxation. We ate lunch (guys are always hungry) and took a swim, then headed back to the room. I could hear the chink chink of gambling chips calling my name. And Steve, the card shark that he is, was looking forward to playing poker.
We couldn't let Steve go out without drawing some attention to himself, so we gave him a couple more gifts: a t-shirt to wear that said “Kiss me, I'm getting Married,” and a plastic ball and chain for around his ankle. Starting with when we arrived at the casino and walked through the lobby, Steve received accolades, teases, and stares from just about everybody, so our plan worked. We stayed at the casino until close to twelve and then called it a night. Lady luck was with all of us, meaning no one lost any money.
Sunday morning we hit the road at about eleven o'clock. With his blow up companion, Steve made himself comfortable, the guys found a seat, and I resumed driving duties. First stop was a strip club about an hour's drive out. What better place to have lunch? Being that it was the afternoon, the place was relatively empty and we sat down front and center of the stage. A young woman with a very short skirt, high heels, tassels, and nothing else on, took our order. Just as the show started, I took out a wad of dollar bills and gave it to Steve so he could tip the dancers. We stayed a couple of hours and then returned to the bus.
I drove for another hour or so before stopping again, this time at a movie theater. We timed it perfectly and saw the latest action movie. When it was over we went across the street to a steak house for dinner and gave Steve a few more drinks.
I had Steve home at ten o'clock and his fiancé was waiting for him. She laughed when she saw the blow up doll and said she couldn't wait to hear about the weekend. Steve thanked all us guys for a great bachelor party and said it was the best road trip he'd ever been on.